DEAD WOMAN WALKING

Not to be confused with Dead Man Farting. Ziggy could not find a pulse in either one of my arms. I told her no one can. She called me a "walking dead woman." This is especially bad in hospital emergency rooms. My worst nightmare is that I will be found dead in a ditch and no one will be able to detect any vital signs. Ziggy suggests sitting up and saying "boo" and scaring the shit out of them.