MY SECOND-WORST CLIENT EVER

Unlike my worst client ever, this guy was not married and there was a reason for it. He was fat and his apartment reeked of litter box. I was so naive I didn't realize when he told me he need a lot of heavy work in his "groin area" he meant he wanted a hand job. He kept on pulling my hands down to his groin. I thought I would puke in the car on the way home, partly because of the awful massage experience partly because of the liter box odour. He actually called a couple weeks later and asked for another appointment.

I told him "I understand if you say 'no' to my conditions, but you are way too interested in your groin and you need to do something about that litter box. Clean it out or move it to another room or something." He said "thank you for being so honest and I think you'll understand if I say 'no'" I forget which one of us hung up first. Not sure whether he was more insulted because I said something about his groin or his cat.