MIXED EMOTIONS

I have had never had such mixed feelings about a vacation.

This has been the weirdest, if not the worst vacation I have had in years, maybe ever. I should have known it when my suitcase was the first one to come out on the baggage carousel at Charlotte Airport. It was too good to last.

1) We were late getting into San Juan.
2) I had trouble with my Amex Card as soon as we got to the hotel. Partly Amex's fault, partly mine.
3) The "ocean view" room we were promised was an ocean view only if you really stretched your neck. Otherwise it looked at a construction site. We could tell this even in the dark.
4) I was told there were no pay phones in the hotel which allowed one to make a call without any kind of card. This was not true.
5) There was no internet access in the business center the first night.
6) I tried to get information on the spa -- all I could get was their "Mother's Day Special," the lowest price of which was $150.00. When I tried to get information on other spa services I was sent to three different places, and finally was told the responsible party was "gone for the night."
7) There was no CD or DVD player in the room.
8) There was no TV listing in the room. The one I finally got from the front desk was wrong.
9) There were no premium channels offered. All this was the first night.
10) We spent about half the next day trying to get the room we paid for. This room offered a better view, but the balcony door didn't open properly and one of the light fixtures and electrical outlets didn't work. The outlet and the fixture still hadn't been repaired by the time we left a week later.
11) I broke out in a horrible rash, covering about a third of my body. My mother, who is a registered nurse and the doctor who was sent by the hotel both surmised it was an allergic reaction to detergent the hotel used in its sheets or towels. I spent over two hundred dollars on doctors, prescription and non-prescription medications, not to mention almost three days of my vacation.
12) We were told Sunday mass would be 9 AM Sunday. It wasn't until later.
13) The manicurist at the hotel spa was late.
14) The flight leaving San Juan was late and a mini-riot nearly ensued at the check-in counter.
15) My flight from Charlotte to DC was late, which was actually a good thing.
16) My seat was double-sold, but at least I got a place on the flight.
17) There were two little kids on the plane screaming in duet a good bit of the time.
18) The guy in front of me was so obnoxious they threatened to throw him off.

Actually there were some good things, too:
1) I met a Santeria priestess at the tanning parlour/internet access place around the corner. She also gave me a great eyebrow wax.
2) We got to see the Bacardi Factory, The San Cristobal Fort, Old San Juan and the Museum of Art.
3) I got a great manicure.
4) The in-flight movie for the return trip was "Miss Potter," proof that being a funny old maid is not all bad.
5) The attendant felt so bad about everything she gave me a free Jack Daniels.
6) The cab driver gave me about a ten percent reduced fair .
7) There was a birthday card waiting for my big pig and another one I had forgotten to open for his mate.
8) The vet gave me about 50 dollars off the bill.