SORRY, I AM NOT THE WONKETTE

Went to the correspondent’s dinner. It was at least my 12th one—all the emotional insecurities of a high school dance, except we’re older and weigh more. Some of us are on the lookout for mates, others for better jobs. Peacock blue seems to be big this year.

The first thing I did was grab a club soda, then checked out all the food. Then the hot guys. After that I went for the booze. When you think of it, it is a high-class way of catering to our most primal needs – food, booze, sex, money and external validation.