WEEK 50
Well, I guess it’s been a week of having versus having not, the glass being half-full vs half-empty, getting what you want vs wanting what you’ve got…
I guess also about taking people and things for granted – people and things you’d always thought would be there. And not appreciating them until they’ve been taken away or have become significantly less. Things like the Starbucks gift cards I got last year from my boss and my landlord. And Christmas parties. At one of my jobs we probably won’t have a party and if we do I probably won’t be invited. At another job most of our parties have been great (I didn’t go to last year’s) but this year it will be potluck in the break room.
What sane boss thinks his/her employees actually have time time/money to bring a fucking covered dish this year? At least at my third job the boss realized potlucks are cruel and unusual punishment to people with multiple jobs/children /limited funds or all of the above.
Honestly I have been dragging my heels on the potluck thing not as much as a matter of time/money/energy resources, but as of nursing hurt feelings, read “grudges.” My thinking: “with some of the hurtful things you’ve said/done why should I be expected to show up, let alone bring food? Let the favoured ones bring a covered dish – they can afford it more than I can.” But then I figured what kind of Christian am I if I can’t bury the hatchet for Jesus’ birthday?
And it is also a matter of coveting my neighbour’s spouse, goods etc. The card I drew today was the five of swords, which according to Angelpaths is about disappointment.
I was doing reasonably well this morning until I found out the friend of a friend who is younger than I am is getting married. My thought was “why them, not me?” Why haven’t I caught the fucking brass ring yet? Several hours later I put on my car radio and hear a younger guy who worked at the same place as me now working as a network anchor. Ouch!
Again self-pity kicks in “why did I diet myself into anorexia, glop makeup on my face, work 12 to 20 hours on end to end up single, broke and underemployed?” Sure, I’m not a quadriplegic and I don’t live in Haiti or Malawi, but I wouldn’t mind a little more money. Or air time…
I guess also about taking people and things for granted – people and things you’d always thought would be there. And not appreciating them until they’ve been taken away or have become significantly less. Things like the Starbucks gift cards I got last year from my boss and my landlord. And Christmas parties. At one of my jobs we probably won’t have a party and if we do I probably won’t be invited. At another job most of our parties have been great (I didn’t go to last year’s) but this year it will be potluck in the break room.
What sane boss thinks his/her employees actually have time time/money to bring a fucking covered dish this year? At least at my third job the boss realized potlucks are cruel and unusual punishment to people with multiple jobs/children /limited funds or all of the above.
Honestly I have been dragging my heels on the potluck thing not as much as a matter of time/money/energy resources, but as of nursing hurt feelings, read “grudges.” My thinking: “with some of the hurtful things you’ve said/done why should I be expected to show up, let alone bring food? Let the favoured ones bring a covered dish – they can afford it more than I can.” But then I figured what kind of Christian am I if I can’t bury the hatchet for Jesus’ birthday?
And it is also a matter of coveting my neighbour’s spouse, goods etc. The card I drew today was the five of swords, which according to Angelpaths is about disappointment.
I was doing reasonably well this morning until I found out the friend of a friend who is younger than I am is getting married. My thought was “why them, not me?” Why haven’t I caught the fucking brass ring yet? Several hours later I put on my car radio and hear a younger guy who worked at the same place as me now working as a network anchor. Ouch!
Again self-pity kicks in “why did I diet myself into anorexia, glop makeup on my face, work 12 to 20 hours on end to end up single, broke and underemployed?” Sure, I’m not a quadriplegic and I don’t live in Haiti or Malawi, but I wouldn’t mind a little more money. Or air time…
posted by Numerologist at 9:42 PM
<< Home