MY LAST DAY ON SCHEDULE
This is how it goes:
Noon: I call reservations and ask if they have anything for me. They say no, not until 8:00 PM. I go back to sleep.
12:40 Reservations calls me and sez there’s been a mistake in scheduling, can I be at the Hotel T____ ASAP? I get there at about 1:20 and am told the guest didn’t want a massage after all and had already checked out.
6:00 I go to the Hotel M____ for a couples massage. Evidently these people have never spent much time in DC. They insist on having the windows open with no air conditioning. In addition to sweating like pigs my partner and I have to listen to dogs, helicopters and sirens outside.
7:20 I am told the next hotel where I am massaging doesn’t provide tables, so I have to head back home and get mine.
7:57 I arrive at the hotel. The client is an ugly fat little man dressed in the fancy hotel-issued bathrobe. He obviously can’t wait for his massage. He asks if I’m gonna check his blood pressure. His English is terrible. He has little things that look like little fibromas all over his neck and shoulders, which are really unpleasant to touch and I’m afraid I’ll tear one off. He asks me if I’m married and stares at me as though I were food and tries that trick of brushing his hand against me when I get near him. He insists on being massaged naked and doesn’t want the sheet over him. He is disappointed when the massage ends, even though I gave him the full 50 minutes. He says something like “I thought it would be more.” The little fucker gives me a five-dollar tip on a $135.00 massage.
Noon: I call reservations and ask if they have anything for me. They say no, not until 8:00 PM. I go back to sleep.
12:40 Reservations calls me and sez there’s been a mistake in scheduling, can I be at the Hotel T____ ASAP? I get there at about 1:20 and am told the guest didn’t want a massage after all and had already checked out.
6:00 I go to the Hotel M____ for a couples massage. Evidently these people have never spent much time in DC. They insist on having the windows open with no air conditioning. In addition to sweating like pigs my partner and I have to listen to dogs, helicopters and sirens outside.
7:20 I am told the next hotel where I am massaging doesn’t provide tables, so I have to head back home and get mine.
7:57 I arrive at the hotel. The client is an ugly fat little man dressed in the fancy hotel-issued bathrobe. He obviously can’t wait for his massage. He asks if I’m gonna check his blood pressure. His English is terrible. He has little things that look like little fibromas all over his neck and shoulders, which are really unpleasant to touch and I’m afraid I’ll tear one off. He asks me if I’m married and stares at me as though I were food and tries that trick of brushing his hand against me when I get near him. He insists on being massaged naked and doesn’t want the sheet over him. He is disappointed when the massage ends, even though I gave him the full 50 minutes. He says something like “I thought it would be more.” The little fucker gives me a five-dollar tip on a $135.00 massage.
posted by Numerologist at 9:28 PM
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