HAVE A HEALTHY DAY
Well, I am actually trying to bring my cholesterol down. Leo sez two ways of doing it (other than statin drugs) are by losing weight and exercising more. That's what the Kaiser doctor said. Yeah, right, after a day of talking to retarded hicks I'm gonna go to an aerobics class, which I can't afford anyway. It's all I can do to get into the car, drive home and crash face-first on the sofa. As for eating healthy, it's enough for me to get out of bed and get myself to work to talk to the hicks, forget about making a nice little salad the night before.
Years ago a nutritionist I went to said instead of eating an Egg McMuffin I should have a hard-boiled egg and toast a plain English Muffin.
1) English Muffins by themselves taste like styrofoam disks. The only way to make them BEARABLE is to put a fried egg, a slice of "Canadian bacon," whatever the fuck that really is, and a slice of processed cheese food between the two porous slices.
2) I am busy and stressed out enough as it is. The last thing I need to do is get up EARLIER, boil an egg, toast a muffin and clean up after that.
3) A double cheeseburger and a McChicken are a dollar apiece. A "premium salad," which is the only kind that fills me up, is three or four times that much. You do the math.
There that being said, I am actually TRYING to eat healthier. On the plan currently -- fresh fruit, tuna fish packed in water, cappucino with nonfat milk, 100% oat bran cereal and Chicken Stars soup. I figure I cannot eat this shit seven days a week, but one-seventh of my life is spent on Monday, so I will make Monday my "healthy day." People associate Mondays with pain, hardship and getting back into the swing of things after a relaxing weekend, so I figure make the suffering full-blown.
Years ago a nutritionist I went to said instead of eating an Egg McMuffin I should have a hard-boiled egg and toast a plain English Muffin.
1) English Muffins by themselves taste like styrofoam disks. The only way to make them BEARABLE is to put a fried egg, a slice of "Canadian bacon," whatever the fuck that really is, and a slice of processed cheese food between the two porous slices.
2) I am busy and stressed out enough as it is. The last thing I need to do is get up EARLIER, boil an egg, toast a muffin and clean up after that.
3) A double cheeseburger and a McChicken are a dollar apiece. A "premium salad," which is the only kind that fills me up, is three or four times that much. You do the math.
There that being said, I am actually TRYING to eat healthier. On the plan currently -- fresh fruit, tuna fish packed in water, cappucino with nonfat milk, 100% oat bran cereal and Chicken Stars soup. I figure I cannot eat this shit seven days a week, but one-seventh of my life is spent on Monday, so I will make Monday my "healthy day." People associate Mondays with pain, hardship and getting back into the swing of things after a relaxing weekend, so I figure make the suffering full-blown.
posted by Numerologist at 7:39 AM
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